


tastes like sweet love

by onacoldnight



Category: VIXX
Genre: I don't even know what I was writing, Little bit of angst, M/M, Too much fluff, jerk!taek, nhyuk, too loud hongbin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 11:05:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7358686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onacoldnight/pseuds/onacoldnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>no call, no messages, no notifications that hakyeon's boyfriend will be late for more than three hours.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tastes like sweet love

“Sir, are you ready to order?”

It’s raining outside. Hakyeon shifts his eyes from the misty glass window to the neat dressed waitress who approached him for the third time. He shakes his head slowly, and fakes a smile. The waitress smiles at him in return, most likely because of pity. Hakyeon can’t really blame her. He’s been there for more than three hours, waiting for someone he still hopes will show up. The restaurant is about to close in an hour, and he’s still sitting on the spot on the corner. His stomach has given up grumbling too.

“Where the hell are you?” he whispers, going for his phone for the nth time. No call, no messages. No notifications that his boyfriend will be late for more than three hours. No reminders that he won’t make it. He’s been calling him nonstop, but no one’s answering the call. He can’t help but imagine the worst case scenarios, and he covers his face because he really should stop thinking. His boyfriend is probably in the middle of a heavy traffic, because it’s raining. Yes, it’s raining, vehicles need to slow down, and that results to heavy traffic. And his boyfriend is stuck there.

Another thirty minutes passed, and he can’t look around the restaurant anymore, because he feels like the other customers are watching him, feeling sorry for him and he can’t stand it. Thirty minutes left and the waitress comes back again, to remind him that the restaurant is about to close in half an hour and if he still wishes to order. He only asks for a glass of water.

As soon as he receives the glass of water, he drinks it in one go. He decides he needs to leave. He should leave without feeling ashamed of himself.

He is about to grab his satchel when someone sits in front of him. He doesn’t know this someone who’s now holding his hand so tight. He looks down at their joined hands and looks up at the man because what the fuck is he doing?

Before Hakyeon can say something, the man starts talking.

“Sorry, babe. I really asked my manager if I can end my shift four hours earlier, but he said I can’t because Jaehwan is sick and couldn’t go to work. I’m really sorry.” this someone says loudly, like he’s explaining to everyone why he was three hours late for their dinner date. The man’s eyes suddenly widen when he looks at him, and he squeezes Hakyeon’s hand, and from that Hakyeon realizes what the man is really doing.

He opens his mouth to reply, but he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t even know what to do. Should he hold his hand in return? Should he smile and say it’s fine? Should he —

“I know you’ve been waiting for so long, I’ve seen you from the kitchen’s window. And I’m really sorry I couldn’t approach you even for just a minute. You know how busy the restaurant was today. It was really a mess inside the kitchen.” he continues rambling. “And also I’m sorry if the waitress kept on bothering you. She’s new here and doesn’t know you’re waiting for me.”

Hakyeon still can’t find the words to say.

“Shit, I really did fuck up. I’m really sorry. What do you want me to do so that you will forgive me?”

“Nothing.” Hakyeon breathes out, and looks around. The other customers are already leaving the restaurant. He should too. “I think I — we should leave.”

“Oh, right. We should. It’s past eleven now.” the man says, and he releases his hand when Hakyeon tries to pull free from his grip. They awkwardly walk out of the restaurant, no words exchanged, with an umbrella in Hakyeon’s hand because it’s still raining. He’s not expecting for the man to follow him as he waits for a cab, of course there is no audience on their little show anymore. But the man is still beside him, trying his best to not get wet by standing under Hakyeon’s umbrella.

“Thanks.” Hakyeon mumbles. He doesn’t look at the man as he says it, because tears are welling up on his eyes and he can’t show that other man that.

“You looked like you’re going to melt in embarrassment back there.” he replies; and Hakyeon should be offended by that, but he can’t find the strength to retort. He’s too tired and he needs to sleep. Sleep the disappointment towards his boyfriend away. “But what I said is really true. Jaehwan, the other cook, couldn’t go to work because he’s sick, so I was left alone there, working two shifts.”

Hakyeon nods weakly, biting his lip because shit, he’s already crying. He looks away, and curses in his mind again, because he needs to go home now, he can’t let a stranger see him cry.

“Whoever ditched you, don’t forgive them easily, okay? Making you wait for more than three hours is so unfair. By the way, I’m Sanghyuk. You?”

And from the corner of his eyes, he sees the stranger offering his hand to him. Stop talking, Hakyeon begs in his mind. Don’t look at me.

“Hak—” he chokes back his own tears. “Hakyeon.”

“Hey, wait.” the man — Sanghyuk — holds his shoulders and turns him around to face him. “You’re crying? Holy shit, did I make you cry?”

Hakyeon looks down, and shakes his head. Fuck it, he doesn’t care anymore. No point of hiding his tears from this stranger. “No, I just feel like shit.”

“No, oh god. Don’t be.” Sanghyuk ducks his head to meet his eyes. “Listen, Hakyeon. If there’s someone who needs to feel like shit, it’s that someone who ditched you.”

“My boyfriend.” Hakyeon corrects. There’s a cab approaching, so he shrugs Sanghyuk’s hands off his shoulders and sticks his arm out. The cab stops in front of them.

He then grabs Sanghyuk’s wrist and lets him hold his umbrella. The other is just watching him as Hakyeon releases his hold on his own umbrella.

“Thank you for saving me from humiliation. I’ll give you my umbrella so you won’t get wet.”

He enters the cab without waiting for him to reply, and gives him a weak smile before turning to look at the driver to say his address.

Hakyeon watches Sanghyuk, who is still not leaving his spot, until he can’t see him anymore.

 

 

 

///

 

Hakyeon feels like he wants to punch someone. And that someone is Taekwoon, his boyfriend — now ex-boyfriend. Taekwoon looks anywhere but him, and Hakyeon wants to believe he’s just guilty.

“It’s not really working anymore, Hakyeon.” he mutters. His eyebags look so worse now. Hakyeon doesn’t even know what’s happening to Taekwoon these past few weeks. “We’ve fallen out of love.”

Hakyeon thinks it’s true. They don’t really see each other anymore. They’re too busy with their own jobs. He can’t see love from Taekwoon’s eyes anymore. He doesn’t feel his heart beat so fast whenever Taekwoon is looking at him. The shy smiles and sweet kisses are not there. It’s over and there’s nothing to be saved.

But still, Taekwoon didn’t appear on that dinner date, and making that as a confirmation of their breakup is so wrong in so many levels. And that’s why he’s so mad right now, so mad at Taekwoon and even at himself.

“So that’s why you ditched me that night?” Hakyeon tries not to shout, keeping everything to themselves. He grips on the edge of his table so tight his nails might leave marks on the wood. “You could have told me sooner, you didn’t have to make me look so stupid waiting for you in that restaurant!”

“I told you I didn’t want that to happen! It’s just that something came up and I forgot to tell you and — ”

“There’s someone, isn’t it?” He asks bitterly. Taekwoon tries to open his mouth but decides he should not. He’s probably aware that he is a bad liar. Hakyeon sighs loudly. “I understand. We just don’t love each other. Just get out of my sight. I still hate you for ditching me and don’t expect me to forgive you soon. I don’t even want to see you for the meantime.”

Taekwoon says another apology before he leaves his apartment. Hakyeon drops his empty glass on the sink, doesn’t even care if it shattered or not. Apology is the least thing he wants right now.

 

 

 

///

 

“So you’re saying that Taekwoon didn’t show up on your date and someone came up and pretended to be your boyfriend to save you from embarrassment?”

“Will you lower your voice?” Wonsik nudges Hongbin a little bit hard on his side that the latter glares in return. Hakyeon just nods. “Stop broadcasting Hakyeon’s love life in public.”

“And Taekwoon only broke up with you yesterday?”

Hakyeon nods again.

“What a jerk.” Wonsik says. Hongbin blurts the same thing. Hakyeon can’t even disagree.

“Yeah, a jerk I don’t want to see again.” he whispers. It’s so quiet, which is so unusual and it just makes him feel worse. It makes him remind of what happened, and for a while he thought focusing on his work and talking to his best friends will make him forget, but actually no. The disappointment is still there, flashbacks of himself sitting uncomfortably in the restaurant are still present in his mind. And honestly, it annoys the hell out of him, but it’s really hard to forget.

“But wait, what happened to that guy who pretended to be your boyfriend?” Hongbin asks. “Do you even know his name?”

Of course, Hakyeon knows. Somehow he’s also in his mind these past days. “I know his name. And he’s a cook in that restaurant.”

“And what did you do to thank him?” Wonsik asks.

Hakyeon gave him his umbrella. But he doesn’t say it out loud, just shrugs. “I didn’t ask him to do that for me.”

“Deng! Wrong answer!” Hongbin interjects. Wonsik pinches him again this time. He yelps. “What?”

Wonsik ignores him and looks at Hakyeon. “Did not ask or did ask is not the question here. He still did you a favor and you should thank him.”

“And?” Hakyeon raises his eyebrows, waiting for Hongbin or Wonsik to continue. But whatever it is, Hakyeon thinks he won’t like it.

“Go to that restaurant and treat him to lunch or dinner, whatever, just show him how thankful you are because he saved your ass.”

“I’m not going back there.” he grumbles.

“Deng! Wrong answer!” Hongbin screeches, and this time he avoids Wonsik who is about to pull his hair. “Even if that restaurant gave you bad memories, you still owe that guy. Go back, thank him with food or anything, and after that you can avoid that place forever.”

 

 

 

///

 

Hakyeon finds himself in that restaurant again, because if he doesn’t do it soon, his best friends will nag him, and a nagging Hongbin and Wonsik isn’t good for him. So he’s here, his eyes roaming around the place, looking for any sign of Sanghyuk.

“Good afternoon, Sir. May I take your order?”

It’s the same waitress from a week ago, and Hakyeon wonders if she still remembers him. He shakes his head, this time because he’s here for a different reason, not because he’s waiting for someone to arrive first.

“Is Sanghyuk here? I mean, your cook? Sanghyuk?”

The waitress stares at him for a while, then she covers her mouth in surprise. “Oh my god, you’re Sanghyuk’s boyfriend! You were the one who waited for him to come out of the kitchen for hours oh my god I’m so sorry if I was bothering you that time. I’m really sorry!”

He waves his hands at her, trying to calm her down. He doesn’t need another unforgettable scene in this restaurant. She stops fidgeting then. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. I just need to talk to him.”

“Ah, I think I can pull him out of the kitchen for a few minutes. Please wait, sir.”

Hakyeon waits, but in his mind he’s rehearsing those lines Hongbin suggested he should say to Sanghyuk. This is so ridiculous, he shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be waiting for a stranger who witnessed him cry a week ago.

“Hakyeon?”

Hakyeon looks up and he sees Sanghyuk, in his uniform. There’s sauce splattered on his waist apron, and he’s even holding a ladle. “Oh, hi Sanghyuk.”

“What are you doing here?” Sanghyuk asks. He then lifts his hand when Hakyeon is about to answer. “Ah, you went here to get your umbrella?”

“No, no. It’s yours now.” Hakyeon motions for him to sit down in front of him, but Sanghyuk declines. He’s still working, after all. “When does your shift end?”

That gets the other’s attention. Sanghyuk is too tall and he’s standing and Hakyeon’s not, and now his neck is numb from too much looking up. “What are you talking about?”

This is it, Hakyeon thinks. He should say the rehearsed lines now. “I want to treat you for a late lunch, or early dinner? You helped me last week, so I think I should thank you.”

“No, no.” Sanghyuk shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to.”

“But I insist.” Hakyeon says. He really doesn’t. But his best friends will never leave him alone. Just one time and they will never see each other again. “Please?”

Sanghyuk stares at him for a while, and that makes Hakyeon so conscious, then he nods slowly. “Okay, if you really insist. My shift ends at six, and I don’t think you want to wait here again, let alone eat. So, let’s see each other later?”

Hakyeon grabs his satchel and stands up. “You know this pork belly restaurant few blocks from here? Let’s meet there.”

“I know that.” Sanghyuk smiles, rubbing his nape with his free hand. Hakyeon finds it too cute. “See you later.”

 

 

 

///

 

Their early dinner ended up into a late night drinking session. Hakyeon feels light, and should stop drinking if he wants to come home in still perfect state. Sanghyuk though, looks sober, like he never drank anything alcoholic. Hakyeon feels like he’s been cheated on.

“I was actually looking at you from the kitchen. You were waiting there for hours and I wanted to approach you but I was really busy, the restaurant is always alive at night, that’s why Jaehwan is the one working on that shift because he is quicker and more efficient.”

Sanghyuk is actually talkative. Three-fourths of their whole conversation comes from him.

“Your ex-boyfriend is such a dick.”

Hakyeon nods.

“Such an insensitive dick.”

Hakyeon nods again.

“I wish you can taste my specialties, but I know you don’t want to go back there. And also, we don’t deliver.”

“I can come over to your place and you cook for me?”

Hakyeon should’ve just nodded again. He should’ve let Sanghyuk do all the talk, because his intoxicated self is saying things he doesn’t even want. He feels his face heating up, so he looks down at his empty shot glass, avoiding Sanghyuk’s eyes. He wants to take it back, but how?

It’s an awkward silence between them for a while, then Sanghyuk asks quietly, “You sure?”

No. “Yes.”

Hakyeon bites his tongue so he can stop talking. But Sanghyuk smiles at him again, the same smile he gave back in the restaurant, and Hakyeon is only, kind of, half-regretting now. Maybe he wants to see that again, when he’s more sober.

 

 

 

///

 

It’s his choice if he wants to contact Sanghyuk or not. Somehow in their drunken conversation, Sanghyuk managed to put his number on his phone. At least he was a little sober not to put his own number on the other’s phone. He’s thankful for that.

The numbers are on his handphone’s screen, glaring back at him. He could’ve deleted it by now, but he can’t find the urge to do it. There’s no reason to see him again. He’s also not going back to that restaurant. But he’s still staring at the number, his finger hovering on the screen, not sure of what to do.

“Stop slacking off.”

Hakyeon quickly turns his phone upside-down and looks at Hongbin, who is staring at him with raised eyebrows.

“How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to see a certain Han Sanghyuk interrupting your work.” he says. “Is he your fake boyfriend?”

“You really don’t know how to control the volume of your voice, do you?” Hakyeon hisses. He groans when Hongbin pulls his own chair to sit beside him. He opens his drawer and puts his phone inside before Hongbin can steal it from him. “Go away! Do your own work!”

“I’m this month’s officer-in-charge. I have less work. Now, speak.” Hongbin says, poking his arm. Hakyeon gives up, glaring at him before starting to explain. Hongbin listens with utter interest, his shit-eating grin fixed on his face. Hakyeon wants to punch that grin off his face.

“Why the hell are you smiling like that? It’s scary.”

“I want to meet this Sanghyuk because I think you two will look cute together.”

“I have no plans of seeing him again.”

“And yet you’re staring on his number.”

“I’m about to delete his number!”

“Liar.” Hongbin says with finality. He chuckles when Hakyeon tries to push him away harshly. There are several hushes following his laugh, because well, he’s really, really loud. “Stop being so defensive, Hakyeon! You can’t fool anyone.”

“Shut up.” Hakyeon covers his face with his hands, and for a moment he thinks why Hongbin is his best friend in the first place. “And I have no plans of committing in a relationship again soon. I just broke up with Taekwoon two weeks ago.”

“I never suggested that you date him, though?”

That earns a solid hit from Hakyeon.

 

 

 

///

 

Hakyeon doesn’t know what he did wrong to deserve this. He is just buying groceries near his workplace when a familiar voice appears from behind him.

“Hakyeon?”

He doesn’t even want to acknowledge him, but he already meets Sanghyuk’s eyes on the reflection of the refrigerator’s glass door. He grips on the basket a bit tighter and turns around to look at him.

“Oh, Sanghyuk? Fancy meeting you here.”

“Me too. It’s been a while.” Sanghyuk jabs his thumb behind him. “I just got off work and I’m buying ingredients for dinner. So…”

Hakyeon knows what Sanghyuk’s been hesitating about. That ‘I can come over to your place and you cook for me’ which is long overdue. But he still waits for him to continue because you can’t just say things you assumed even if you’re one hundred and one percent sure about it. He learned that from experience.

“You can come over to my place? You promised?”

Hakyeon says his answer even before Sanghyuk can breathe out. “I’m sorry, but I can’t go. Maybe next time?”

 

 

 

///

 

Hakyeon is sitting on the edge of Sanghyuk’s couch, watching the other cooking in the kitchen. He clasps his hands on his lap.

How did he end up in Sanghyuk’s place after rejecting his offer?

It’s because he didn’t fucking check the weather. It was a fair weather during the day, but as soon as he stepped out of the supermarket, rain suddenly fell and he didn’t have his umbrella with him. He kept himself under the shed, silently praying for the rain to stop, but unfortunately it became heavier and heavier as minutes passed.

And then a savior holding an overfamiliar umbrella emerged to rescue him again. Hakyeon tried to ignore him, as if he didn’t see him coming out of the supermarket.

“Hey, Hakyeon?”

Hakyeon bit the inside of his cheek and turned to look at Sanghyuk again with an awkward smile plastered on his face. “Hi again, Sanghyuk.”

“There’s a thunderstorm tonight.” Sanghyuk pointed out. Hakyeon almost snorted. Duh. “Cabs are rare here. My apartment is just a few blocks. You can stay there while waiting for the rain to stop.”

“Ah, no.” Hakyeon shook his head. “It’s okay. My place is just near here too. You can leave now. Don’t worry about me.”

“But I can’t just leave you like this! It looks like the rain won’t stop anytime soon.” Sanghyuk insisted, and he looked so serious and wouldn’t take a no for an answer. And also, a thunder came rolling and Hakyeon almost clung to Sanghyuk. He avoided Sanghyuk’s begging eyes, hoping for him to get tired and leave, but he didn’t. Another thunder rolling and Hakyeon gave up.

“Okay, I will come with you.”

His breath hitched when Sanghyuk put an arm on his shoulders and kept him so close so that he wouldn’t get wet. He felt so warm beside him, and Hakyeon stopped himself from wrapping his arm around his middle. That didn’t seem right.

He decided that when they reached Sanghyuk’s apartment, he would just ask for his umbrella so he could go home. But it didn’t happen because Sanghyuk’s neighbor borrowed the only umbrella Sanghyuk has (originally that umbrella was Hakyeon’s), he said he had to meet someone and might not be coming back soon. And Sanghyuk was just too nice to give the umbrella.

Sanghyuk’s apartment is small, smaller than Hakyeon’s, but at least it looks like it can accommodate two persons. From the window he can see a perfect view of the city, but since it’s raining so hard, everything is blurry.

The only sound he can hear is the rain and Sanghyuk chopping carrots. It’s a little awkward, and Sanghyuk seems like he has no interest in starting a conversation. He chooses to go for his phone instead, and decides to send a message to his much quieter best friend Wonsik.

HY 19:35 Help!!! I’m on Sanghyuk’s house I’m stuck here until the rain decides to stop I don’t know what to do!!!

WS 19:37 Sanghyuk? Your fake bf?

HY 19:38 He was my fake bf it wasn’t even for an hour  
HY 19:39 It’s a long story I just want to get out of here

WS 19:42 Go out and be drenched in the rain then  
WS 19:42 He’s not talking to you?

HY 19:44 He’s cooking right now but it’s still awkward!!!

WS 19:45 Start a conversation?

HY 19:46 Don’t want

WS 19:47 Well then, that’s the only advice I can give you I’m going back to sleep  
WS 19:47 Good night ^^

He’s about to send multiple messages to Wonsik to annoy the hell out of him when Sanghyuk speaks.

“Food is ready. Come on, let’s eat.”

Hakyeon reluctantly stands up and pulls a chair in front of Sanghyuk. The other removes his duck-printed apron and puts down the pot on the cooling rack. Hakyeon’s stomach grumbles and he clears his throat, his face getting red. He mumbles ‘thanks’ and Sanghyuk just nods in reply.

There’s a reason why Sanghyuk is a cook. His carrot soup is so, so, so delicious.

 

 

 

///

 

It’s still raining. It stopped, but after a few minutes, it rained again. Hakyeon stares at his paper bag of groceries on Sanghyuk’s coffee table. Sanghyuk is standing beside his window, watching the unending rain. Ever since they arrived in his apartment, he’s been quiet, and hasn’t done anything to initiate a conversation with him. He should say something like, hey it’s still raining you should stay the night here and –

“You’re uncomfortable.”

“What?”

“I said, you’re uncomfortable.” Sanghyuk repeats, not even glancing at him. That is not what Hakyeon expected to hear from him.

“Well, it’s quiet here. It’s making me feel uncomfortable.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Sanghyuk says, finally looking at him. He leans on the wall, his arms crossed against his chest. “I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“What are you talking about?” Hakyeon asks. His heart is pounding loudly in his chest, and he’s not supposed to feel like this. Sanghyuk’s face is blank, and his stares send shivers down his spine.

“You don’t like me.” Sanghyuk says. Hakyeon stiffens. “Actually, I’m not really expecting anything from you after I pretended to be your boyfriend, but you came back and honestly? I thought we’re already friends, because we ate dinner together, heck we even drank together.”

“Sanghyuk, wait –”

“No, let me finish.” Sanghyuk puts his hand up to stop him. Hakyeon abruptly shuts his mouth. “I waited for you to contact me because you promised, but you didn’t so I thought again, ‘ah, he’s probably busy’ and regretted that I never got your number. But then I met you in the supermarket and there I realized that you’re just avoiding me.”

“Sanghyuk, it’s –” Hakyeon stops. There is no point in denying. He is avoiding Sanghyuk because he thinks there’s no more reason to see each other again. He knows that he’s been a jerk to him, and for Sanghyuk to directly point it out for him makes him really guilty. He sighs, eyes on the faded carpet. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t really understand why you’re so uncomfortable with me, because I’m just being friendly.” Sanghyuk says. And from the corner of Hakyeon’s eyes, he can see him go for his closet near his bed. He takes some blankets and then he’s now in front of him. “You can stay the night here. You can take the bed if you want, I will sleep on the floor.”

“No, you sleep on your bed. I can sleep on the couch.” Hakyeon says, taking the blankets from him. “Thank you.”

“Also, the bathroom is there, if you need to use it. There’s an extra toothbrush and towel inside.” he adds, pointing on the small room beside the kitchen. With the way he speaks so softly, it makes Hakyeon feel like he’s the worst. Sanghyuk doesn’t even comment on his apology and that’s terrible. “I guess you have early work tomorrow. Wake me up before you leave.”

Hakyeon nods, and Sanghyuk proceeds to the bathroom. When he steps out, he’s already cleaned up, and doesn’t even glance at him before going to his bed. No good night. No sweet dreams. No sleep tight. Hakyeon makes himself comfortable in the couch and thinks that, he really deserves it.

 

 

 

///

 

It’s five-thirty in the morning, and he has to go home so he can have enough time to prepare for work. The rain has stopped three hours ago. He never got any wink of sleep, and he hopes Sanghyuk won’t notice the tiredness in his eyes. He kneels in front of Sanghyuk, putting his arms and head on the edge of the bed.

“You look so young, Sanghyuk.” he mumbles as softly as he can, so that the other won’t wake up. “You know, I’m really sorry. But, I don’t think we can be friends.”

Sanghyuk is breathing evenly, he even lets out a soft snore. Hakyeon pouts. “I got this little crush on you after that dinner. Funny, right? I’ve never wanted to admit this even to myself, until now. I don’t think this is right. I’m trying to get over this feeling towards you but you kept on bothering me. What am I supposed to do?”

Well, of course, Sanghyuk is not going to answer. So Hakyeon stands up and leans down to wake him up. It only takes him a few shakes and Sanghyuk is sitting up, mumbling, ‘wait for me’ and goes to the bathroom.

Sanghyuk doesn’t offer breakfast as he takes out Hakyeon’s groceries from his mini refrigerator, and just gives him a small – a bit forced – smile when he waits with him for a cab. Hakyeon fidgets on his spot, waiting, and when the cab arrives, he waves at him, doesn’t try to say anything. Sanghyuk doesn’t respond, his hands on his pockets, and nods at him.

“If ever I see you around, I won’t approach you. Don’t worry.”

“Stupid.” Hakyeon whispers to himself when the cab starts to move. He plays with his fingers to distract himself from the guilt that is getting worse as he gets farther and farther from Sanghyuk.

 

 

 

///

 

Friday nights are not Hakyeon’s thing. It’s commonly Hongbin and Wonsik’s, and being friends with them requires him to attend the monthly night outs.

They are in a bar near their workplace, Hongbin’s favorite, since it serves the best mojito in the world (Hongbin’s words). There are no chairs available, so they decide on walking around the bar. He’s busy talking to Wonsik about the new update of the webtoon he’s been reading recently, when he bumps into someone. Luckily his drink doesn’t spill on the other man’s shirt.

“I’m so –”

It’s been months since he last saw Sanghyuk, but he never expects him to see him again in a bar, of all places. He stares in shock, unable to say anything. Sanghyuk is with someone, and that someone nudges him. It’s loud, the music blasting on big DJ speakers, but he still gets the question by lip-reading.

“Do you know him, Hyuk?”

There is this little hope that Sanghyuk will recognize him, but that is cut short when Sanghyuk shakes his head and walks away. His heart sinks, but that is what he wants, right? That is what he wants from Sanghyuk, to not bother him anymore. His eyes still follows him until he disappears in the strobe of lights.

“Hey, you like him?” Hongbin puts his arm on his shoulders. Hakyeon looks at him, his brows furrowed, his mood dwindling. “You’ve been staring. Seriously, you need to get laid.”

“Shut up.” he shrugs Hongbin’s arm from his shoulder. “And I don’t like him. I thought he’s someone I know.”

Hongbin doesn’t ask anymore, just smirks, and leads him and Wonsik when he finally sees an available table.

Wonsik and Hongbin engage in an intimate conversation, leaving Hakyeon alone. If this is any other day, he would’ve complained for being left out, but now his eyes are busy wandering around, craning his neck to search for Sanghyuk. He believes he’s still around, probably having some good time with his someone.

And then he finally sees him, standing with his someone, and Hakyeon frowns, watching as that someone leans to Sanghyuk – he even notices him tiptoeing because Sanghyuk is just goddamn tall – and he’s whispering something that made him laugh with his eyes crinkling. He rolls his eyes, goes back to his two friends, but his eyes widen when he sees Hongbin pressing kisses on Wonsik’s face. He doesn’t even know that there’s something going on with his best friends – or he does know but too distracted to absorb everything? He exhales, the alcohol slowly kicking in, and he spares a glance at Sanghyuk before standing up, leaving the bar.

He sits on the curb, pinching the bridge of his nose. He should head home soon, but before that, he needs to send a message to Hongbin.

He opens his messenger app and is about to type on their chatbox when someone sits beside him. He looks up and freezes when he sees Sanghyuk.

“I tried to pretend that I don’t know you, but it’s harder than I thought.” he starts, his eyes fixed on the wall in front of them. “Jaehwan said I’m a bad actor.”

Hakyeon chuckles lightly, hiding his phone back on his pocket. “That person with you, he’s Jaehwan?”

Sanghyuk nods. “You were staring at me back there, Jaehwan said.”

“I did?” he asks, but the denial isn’t there. “Did I disturb you?”

Instead of answering his question, Sanghyuk asks again, “Have you moved on from that little crush you felt for me? It’s been months, right?”

Hakyeon’s eyes widen for the nth time that night. “How did you – wait, you were awake?”

“I’m not really a heavy sleeper, you know? And you’re talking too loud at wee hours of the morning.”

Hakyeon’s initial reaction is to smack his palm on his forehead, and the next is to stand up. “I’m leaving.”

“You’re not doing this again, Hakyeon.” Sanghyuk says sternly, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back to sit on the pavement. “I thought that after you left, I wouldn’t be seeing you again, but the world is so fucking small. Everywhere I go I still see you. On the supermarket, on the coffee shop nearby, on the bus stop, on the bakery every morning, just everywhere. Do you know how much I’m trying to stop myself from going to you? You asked for it and I don’t want to be greedy. But when I put that ‘I don’t know you’ act in front of you earlier, you looked so affected and I thought that maybe –”

“Maybe what?” Hakyeon asks. He wonders where on earth he found his own voice. Sanghyuk’s pouring his heart out again on him, like what he did months ago and there are too much to take in. And Hakyeon is still speechless.

“That maybe you still like me.” Sanghyuk finally says, his hand still holding Hakyeon’s wrist. He’s warm, and Hakyeon’s cold, and perhaps he needs a little warmth. “If this is about Taekwoon and your failed relationship, please stop worrying.”

Sanghyuk knows all this time. He knows why Hakyeon was avoiding him and what was eating him up. “It’s been months since we broke up, and having someone right after breaking up doesn’t feel right to me.”

“But he has someone even before you broke up.”

“I’m not Taekwoon.”

“You’re not Taekwoon, alright. I’m sorry.” Sanghyuk sighs exasperatedly, his hold getting tighter, but still gentle. “What I’m trying to say is that holding yourself back is not worth it. I think I gave you too much time, Hakyeon. And I’m not forcing myself on you, I just want to know if we can be friends, at least.”

Hakyeon doesn’t know how long he stayed quiet, taking too long to answer a simple yet complicated question, and now Sanghyuk’s standing up, releasing his hold on his wrist. He suddenly feels empty.

“I look so pathetic. I like you too much, huh?”

The words are like daggers stabbing his heart, and when Sanghyuk is about to leave him – maybe now permanently – Hakyeon finally grabs his hand. Sanghyuk has been patient all this time, and if he’s going to let this go again, then it’s certain that he is the stupidest person in the world.

“Don’t go.” he whispers, tugging his hand. “We can work this out together, right?”

Sanghyuk sits beside him again, this time closer. He takes Hakyeon’s hands in his. He’s now smiling so wide, so sweetly, and he wants to see it again. “I promise.”

 

 

 

///

 

Hakyeon’s standing in front of the restaurant’s standee, reading the food deals it is offering for their one year anniversary. He should bring his best friends here next week. Surprisingly, the restaurant doesn’t give him an ill feeling anymore. The bad memories do not hunt him anymore. He feels okay now.

He’s fetching Sanghyuk today, and he’s just waiting for him to come out since his shift ends in ten minutes. He peeks through the glass window, trying not to distract the customers eating just beside the window.

There’s someone tapping his shoulder, and he turns around to see a familiar face. He doesn’t remember when and where he did see him, though.

“You’re Hakyeon, right?” the stranger asks, and Hakyeon nods, trying so hard to remember the man. He probably notices him struggling to remember him, so he adds, “I’m Jaehwan. Sanghyuk’s friend. We met in the bar last, last week.”

“Ah, Jaehwan. I remember you now. Sorry.” Hakyeon says, blushing. Jaehwan only chuckles. “Hello.”

Turns out that Jaehwan is as loud as Hongbin, if not, louder.

“Sanghyuk was moping for months. He even glared at everyone for almost a week and seriously, he was frightening that time.”

Hakyeon smiles awkwardly. He lets Jaehwan do all the talking, and the other looks like he doesn’t mind if Hakyeon does not respond.

“Sanghyuk is the living proof that love at first sight exists!” he declares, making Hakyeon blush again, now redder. “He’s been talking about you ever since he met you, and it’s actually creepy, don’t you think?”

“It’s actually time for work, don’t you think?” Sanghyuk cuts in from behind Hakyeon, and Hakyeon sighs in relief. Jaehwan just smiles sheepishly before saying good bye to him and leaves them outside. Sanghyuk steps in front of him, his hands on his jacket’s pockets. “Did he scare you?”

Hakyeon laughs so loud he has to cover his face with his hands. “He’s embarrassing me.”

Sanghyuk looks surprised with his reaction and he clears his throat. “I’m sorry about that. He tends to be really annoying.”

“Don’t worry, I have a friend who’s like him, but not as loud as him.” he removes his hands from his face and sees that Sanghyuk is avoiding to look at him. “Hey, Sanghyuk. Are you alright?”

“I can’t believe this.” Sanghyuk rubs the back of his neck, looking down. “He just revealed how hopeless I was.”

“You’re not. Honestly, you’re cute.” Hakyeon holds at his arm. Sanghyuk splutters, turning his back on him. Hakyeon laughs again. “Let’s go, we don’t want to miss the movie.”

They decided to watch a horror movie, and Sanghyuk looked so excited that Hakyeon couldn’t even tell him that he doesn’t like horror.

So he tries not to flinch at the scary scenes, his hands gripping on the arm rests to keep himself still. He sits straight and closes his eyes. But he can’t do anything about blocking the sounds out.

“Hakyeon.” Sanghyuk whispers, then he’s lifting the armrest between them. Hakyeon opens his eyes to look at him, watching as he pulls him closer. They’re not even in a relationship, they’re just starting off as friends, but the intimacy between them seems natural. He likes it, he’s sure of it. Hakyeon hopes that the light from the screen won’t show his red face. “Why you didn’t tell me?”

“You’re taking advantage, aren’t you?” Hakyeon asks, looking at Sanghyuk’s side profile. He’s handsome, he’s really, really handsome, he suddenly forgets about the movie as he basks in Sanghyuk’s warmth.

“You never told me that you don’t like horror movies!” Sanghyuk points out, poking at Hakyeon’s cheek. He puts his arm on his shoulders. “You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

Hakyeon’s eyes widen. “You –”

There’s an ear-piercing scream again and he quickly hides his face on Sanghyuk’s neck. Sanghyuk laughs softly, and Hakyeon doesn’t even have the courage to shut him up. He can stay there – his arm wrapping around Sanghyuk’s waist instinctively – until the movie ends.

 

 

 

///

 

SH 11:32 [photo] I made up a new recipe ~ I want you to taste it first before we put it on the menu!

HY 11:33 It looks so delicious!  
HY 11:33 Hmm… are you subtly asking me to come over to your place later?

SH 11:34 Yeah.

Hakyeon covers his mouth to stop himself from giggling too much. He’s supposed to be working, not chatting with Sanghyuk. He bites his lip and rereads their conversations from the past weeks.

“You’re smiling too much, it’s creepy.” Wonsik pats his shoulder lightly. It doesn’t even sound as an insult. “Flirting is not allowed during work, but we’re happy for you.”

 

 

 

///

 

Sometimes, Hakyeon wants to believe Jaehwan, that Sanghyuk is hopeless.

They are watching a drama rerun in Hakyeon’s apartment – Sanghyuk sitting on the floor and Hakyeon lying on the couch – when Sanghyuk turns around to look at him.

“What?” Hakyeon asks.

“Do you know that I know palm reading?” Sanghyuk says innocently, but he knows him well enough to tell that he’s just lying.

He tries to play along. “You do?”

“Yeah. Give me your hand.” Sanghyuk grabs his hand, and his index finger trails on his palm.

Hakyeon stops himself from laughing on the concentrated look on his face and lets him do what he wants. “Hakyeon, take a look.”

Hakyeon sits up and his eyes follow the line Sanghyuk is pointing at. He raises an eyebrow at him. “And? Does that mean something?”

“This line is what they call life line. And it looks really long, extending down to your wrist. It means you’ll have a long life.”

He almost snorts, and clears his throat when Sanghyuk looks up at him. “Oh, I see. Then?”

Sanghyuk grins and looks back on his palm. “This line is what they call love line. Do you see this small and very thin line on the end? This one forming a V with the love line?”

Hakyeon nods.

“It means that there’s this someone patiently waiting for you at the end of your journey.”

“Journey?”

“Of forgetting.”

This time, Hakyeon finally laughs from the ridiculousness, and he ruffles Sanghyuk’s hair with his free hand. He then grabs his hand that is holding his and intertwines their fingers together.

It’s a perfect fit, Hakyeon thinks. Sanghyuk gawks at him.

“If you’re using this palm reading as a way just to hold my hand, then you succeeded, Han Sanghyuk. Even if this is too funny.”

Sanghyuk is quiet for a while, blushing, then, “I knew it, I shouldn’t have asked for Jaehwan’s advice.”

“I’m not surprised that it was Jaehwan who taught you this.” Hakyeon says, looking down at their joined hands. He likes the feeling, and he’s sure that Sanghyuk’s enjoying it too. “But if we’re doing this, then –”

“We’re taking a large step forward.” Sanghyuk finishes for him, his head now on Hakyeon’s lap. “Are we moving too fast?”

“No, no we’re not. This is okay.” He says, his other hand fixing Sanghyuk’s fringe. The other is now blinking sleepily. He must have been tired from working all day in the kitchen. “Besides, I’ve already moved on from that awful past.”

“I noticed.” Sanghyuk says, and closes his eyes. “I’ll take a nap, okay? Don’t ever let go of my hand, I went through a lot just to hold your hand.”

“But it won’t be comfortable for you to sleep in that position.” Hakyeon says, pulling him up. “Come here and put your head on my lap.”

Sanghyuk follows, and after a few minutes, he’s already snoring softly. He’s hugging their clasped hands close to his chest, like he’s afraid that Hakyeon will let go of him.

But Hakyeon won’t. He won’t let go of him, especially now that they are in a situation where they can’t call each other ‘just friends’ anymore.

 

 

 

///

 

Sanghyuk is talking to him about the possible life in Mars, and yet Hakyeon can't seem to listen. Not because the topic is uninteresting, but because he's focusing on something else. He's focusing on the feeling he's so damn sure he felt before, but this time on a different level, much more different to be exact. He knows what actually this feeling is and he doesn't have to be told about it.

“Hakyeon?” Sanghyuk waves his hand in front of him, and that brings him back from his realizations. “Are you listening?”

“Oh yeah. I'm listening.” He lies. He doesn't even know where on the universe Sanghyuk has already reached with his stories. “Continue.”

“You were not listening.” Sanghyuk pouts. “You were just staring at me.”

“I was listening! I swear!”

“I know I’m too cute to resist.” he says, grinning. “But if you did listen, what was the last thing I said?”

Hakyeon laughs in surrender, holding his hands up. “Okay, I'm caught. Please arrest me for excessive lying, Police Officer Han.”

“I won't arrest you just because of lying, Mr Cha.” Sanghyuk says, grabbing his raised hands and holding him on his wrists, like he's binding him using his hands. “I'm arresting you because of stealing.”

“Stealing?” Hakyeon asks. “What did I steal?”

“You stole my heart, dummy.”

Hakyeon got it so bad. Really, really bad.

HY 3:36 Guys  
HY 3:36 I'm in love with Sanghyuk

HB 3:43 Congratulations for taking you so long. Now please let us sleep

WS 3:54 Finally  
WS 3:55 But can't you wait until tomorrow morning to tell us this  
WS 3:56 Sleep now, Hakyeon. Or else you'll look like a zombie tomorrow. You don’t want that

HY 3:56 Sorry guys  
HY 3:56 I just keep on thinking about it I can't sleep without telling you

HB 3:57 Aww we'll talk tomorrow okay  
HB 3:57 And I also want to let you know that  
HB 3:58 We are very happy for you :)

 

 

 

///

 

“Look at this.” Hakyeon swipes his finger on the screen, showing Sanghyuk photos of his nephews and nieces. “She’s the youngest. I seldom visit them so I don’t have recent photos.”

He shows Sanghyuk other photos of him with his family and friends, Wonsik and Hongbin, then a photo accidentally shows up, making Sanghyuk yell in surprise. He panics, about to lock his phone, but Sanghyuk is too fast and he grabs the phone from him.

“Give it back!” Hakyeon bellows, and stands up when the other stands up to keep him away from his own phone.

“You cross-dressed! I’m so impressed, Hakyeon!” Sanghyuk is laughing as he says it, walking backwards to get away from him, his phone raised. Hakyeon is almost as tall as him, but Sanghyuk is just quick, swaying his phone sideways so that he won’t have it back. “Let me send this to my phone before I –”

There’s a gasp and he stiffens, realizing that he has already cornered Sanghyuk against the wall. And the gasp came from the other. He can take it as an opportunity to get his phone back, but he cannot move, their bodies touching, his hands holding on his shoulders. Sanghyuk – with his arm still raised – is giving him a look that he can’t really describe, and he is about to back off when Sanghyuk puts his hand on the small of his back and now he’s the one who gasps.

“If you want me to let go, now is the right time to tell me.” Sanghyuk whispers, and Hakyeon can feel his breath ghosting his lips. He shivers, not only from the touch on his back, but also from the other’s piercing eyes.

Hakyeon doesn’t need any more time to think. He has already decided, he is just looking for the right time. And now that it’s being presented to him, he should not waste anything.

“No. I will not allow you to let go of me.” he says, and then he’s kissing him, chaste and full of longing, it’s like they’ve been waiting for so long for it to happen. He gets lost in the moment as soon as Sanghyuk kisses back, and it feels so nice to have his arm wrapping around his waist to pull him as close as possible. Hakyeon pulls back to catch his breath but he doesn’t stop as he kisses Sanghyuk’s cheeks, nose, jaw and back to his lips before pressing their foreheads together. “I love you.”

Sanghyuk chuckles without answering back and it surprises Hakyeon to have that kind of reaction from him.

“What’s funny?” Hakyeon demands. “And where’s my ‘I love you too’?”

“There’s nothing funny. I’m just happy.” Sanghyuk says, nuzzling his cheek with his nose. “And yeah, I love you too.”

It is worth the wait, Hakyeon thinks. “Are you giving my phone back now?”

“Not until I send your photo to my phone.” Sanghyuk smirks before closing the gap between them again, kissing him sweetly and now Hakyeon doesn’t care anymore about his cross-dressing photo.

 

 

 

///

 

Hakyeon taps his finger on the table, and looks on his watch. He has been waiting for more than thirty minutes now, but he’s not worried, because he’s waiting for his boyfriend who is just inside the kitchen. Sanghyuk insisted that he should prepare their dinner date, with a little help from Jaehwan.

There are people around him, and somehow Hakyeon remembers the time he first met Sanghyuk. If he hadn’t met him before, he might be okay by this time – finally moved on from his breakup with Taekwoon – but not as happy as he is feeling right now.

“Sir, the food is here!” someone says, and Hakyeon recognizes that voice. He looks up and smiles at Sanghyuk who is carrying a tray, now on his casual clothes. “Made with Han Sanghyuk’s love.”

Sanghyuk puts down their food on the table and kisses him on his cheek.

“Did I make you wait for too long?” Sanghyuk asks, sitting in front of him. “I’m sorry for making you wait.”

“I waited for thirty minutes, but it’s okay.” he assures. “Thank you for this. I appreciate the effort.”

Hakyeon watches as Sanghyuk gives him his plate and utensils, grinning. Who would have thought that this man in front of him who pretended to be his fake boyfriend and risked his dignity will be his boyfriend for real?

“Is there something in my face?”

“Nothing.” Hakyeon says, shaking his head. “I just love you.”

Sanghyuk snorts, and reaches forward to touch his cheek. “I love you too.”


End file.
